I feel so ungrateful for everything I have. I should be happy that I live in a country where I could get my back fixed. I should be happy that I have good insurance to pay for it. I should be happy that I have an amazing husband to take care of me.
But here I am, 1AM, laying in bed, feeling sorry for myself. I feel like a burden to Ken because I can't do anything on my own. I'm embarrassed because he has to help me get dressed, bathe, and use the bathroom. I hate that it takes me so long to get up. He is so incredibly patient with me, which is probably why I feel so bad.
And I am terrified. I'm afraid that I'm going to get addicted to my pain meds (even though I have no history of addiction). I'm afraid of the cats walking on me, even though they just want to cuddle.
I'm not writing this to get sympathy ... But I just needed to get all of these thoughts out of my head.
Thank you for your kind words earlier - I love you all so much!
XO, Jess
10 comments:
Been there, not to the same extent, but been there. Don't worry about becoming addicted, take the meds as you need them. Right now, take them exactly as prescribed, don't let yourself get into pain. Worry about cutting back in 4-5 days depending on your pain. I've had 3 surgeries since 2010! Take the meds!!
Oh Sweetie! I am praying for you! I understand I felt that way when I broke my leg. Take your pills now as you were prescribed and then you can wean off them later.
Feel better jess!
I've been there twice. It's so strange, but knowing he is there to help me makes me feel so much better. I had to deal with it from my gallbladder surgery and then from the c-section which was worse.
Don't ever think your problems aren't important just because someone else has "bigger" problems! There is always someone with "bigger" problems, no matter if you are homeless or whatever circumstance you might be in. This is your life and it matters so don't feel that way!
Feel better and have a super weekend!! Rest and relax!
Hey, hey hold on! Don't feel bad. Take a deep breath and look at you previous post. See how happy and relieved you were? Don't ever think you are a burden for your husband! I mean, he is your husband! You picked him, and he picked you for a reason(: You guys love each other and this is just a little test:) All this stuff comes and goes, they are just experiences that make you appreciate life and the people you love even more, take it from someone who has been in the hospital a couple of times ha. Just take the meds if you need them, but don't let the pain get too bad okay? You can just get better from here on, so smile! Hope to hear better news from you soon!
in sickness and in health, right? you;ll be a-ok.
so, i'm a no-reply blogger. this is why: instead of having 50 emails of "you have a new comment" and 30 or so emails that just say "thanks," i turned mine off. i found that i would just get responses and no visits to my blog, my blog that i love and work on every day for hours.
you see, i have severe nerve damage and the less i click/type with my fingers, the better. instead, i don't moderate my comments via email like you, and just view them on my Comments section. I also visit every single blog and respond to every single comment on the visitor's page or email. i use a speech-to-text program, which i'm using now, to visit blogs. i hope you understand and hope you visit my blog. have a most wonderful weekend :)
Ugh, I was here just last February. I actually ended up having a lot of anger because I couldn't deal with being such a burden and out of control of my own life...
I hope you feel better soon!
Oh Jess I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. Don't ever think you are a burden to your husband. You know that you would never feel that way towards him - you love each other.
After my surgery for the breast cancer (and chemo) - I knew it was more work for my hubs to take care of me, the house, the kids, etc., but God sends us the people he knows can take care of us :) He never once complained, and I'm sure Ken will never either - because we take care of those we love. Just concentrate on healing.
Hugs to you girly!
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