I feel so ungrateful for everything I have. I should be happy that I live in a country where I could get my back fixed. I should be happy that I have good insurance to pay for it. I should be happy that I have an amazing husband to take care of me.
But here I am, 1AM, laying in bed, feeling sorry for myself. I feel like a burden to Ken because I can't do anything on my own. I'm embarrassed because he has to help me get dressed, bathe, and use the bathroom. I hate that it takes me so long to get up. He is so incredibly patient with me, which is probably why I feel so bad.
And I am terrified. I'm afraid that I'm going to get addicted to my pain meds (even though I have no history of addiction). I'm afraid of the cats walking on me, even though they just want to cuddle.
I'm not writing this to get sympathy ... But I just needed to get all of these thoughts out of my head.
Thank you for your kind words earlier - I love you all so much!